Designer Genitals

By Tommy Leung on 04/11/2010 in Life

I just watched America the Beautiful and have much to say. However, one scene in the film was particular interesting. This woman brought a Playboy to a plastic surgeon from Dr. 90210 and complained how her vagina didn’t look like the ones in the magazine.

Basically, she wanted a “designer vagina“. I thought it was pretty ridiculous. Let’s forget that Playboy PhotoShops the pictures in their magazine, who wants to have identical body parts as someone else?

Outside from some catastrophic and unfortunate event that would actually justify plastic surgery because the alternative would be worse, why would any woman find the need to surgically alter their vagina?

Then I thought of all the penis enlargement ads. I guess designer vagina’s are the female equivalent of penis enlargement.

Audi works too

We don’t expect everyone to be the same. The idea is the same. We get it. When we get into a car, we know how to drive it. It doesn’t matter if its a BMW, Nissan, Volkswagen, Toyota, Kia, or Ford. It doesn’t even matter if its a sedan, coupe, or SUV.

Perhaps we haven’t driven this exact car but, we’ll figure it out just fine. We don’t need every car to be exactly the same.

So, here I am thinking how ridiculous the idea of designer vagina’s are but, I realize that I don’t think penis enlargement is as ridiculous. Logically, they are both equally ridiculous unless what you’re driving isn’t a car but, a Hot Wheel. If that is the case: less ridiculous and understandable.

For any lady that reads this, don’t do it. Don’t have any cosmetic “enhancements”. You don’t need bigger–or smaller–boobs or a tuck of any kind. You are just fine. Trust me. There’s always that one asshole who, apparently, only dates models. I’m pretty sure there’s more of those guys than actual models–so, someone is full of shit.

For the dudes, I believe the male enhancement business is quite large. Stop adding to it. I get it. It’s how we are. We want bigger biceps than the next guy. We want to bench more weight than him too. I know. We can show off our bigger biceps and higher bench weight at the gym. But, no one drops their pants at the gym–it’s bad manners. There’s more to it than being a 16 wheeler.

Look, worldwide average is between 3.8 and 6.3 in. Yes, it is quite the range but, you more than likely fall in there. If nothing else, an adult gorilla measures in at 1.5 in. He’s still strong as hell and will rip us in half with his bare hands but, we win in this department. So, Mrs. Gorilla, how you doin’?…maybe not.