Self Perception

By Tommy Leung on 12/26/2010 in Life

I got my parents a digital picture frame for Christmas last year–a network Blu-Ray player this year. They are not tech savvy but, I keep getting them tech gifts–I’m keeping them young. They have since loaded up the picture frame with all kinds of photos from vacations, trips, family dinners, family gatherings, etc. A never ending slideshow of memories.

This Christmas, I was looking at photos on this magical memories device and saw pictures of myself from the first half of 2009 and I was appalled. Appalled that I was a whale.

The best description of my reaction would be a disgusted WTF?!

I couldn’t believe I had ever let that happen! I’ve always been health conscious but, you’d never have guessed it looking at these photos–you’d think I was Twinkie conscious. I was also never aware that I had become that much of  a fat ass. And no one told me. Nobody. Okay, that’s not entirely true. One person did and that might be the only reason why I’m not a Sea World attraction right now.

My parents didn’t tell me and if they won’t be brutally honest, who will? So I told them to tell me next time and don’t worry about my feelings. My Dad said he thought I liked it. WTF?! I also thanked my one friend who gave it to me straight and to do it again if I ever wander down that path.

The key takeaway isn’t that I can’t believe I let myself become a fat ass. Shit happens. 2008 – 2009 was a challenging time. Not necessarily my best years. We all have those. Life isn’t a bouquet of lollipops.

The key takeaway is that I didn’t have a clue while it was happening. While living my life as a whale, I didn’t know I was a whale. I couldn’t see it. I was blind to reality. It wasn’t like I had no mirrors or didn’t see pictures of myself. I did: the mirror daily and pictures here and there.

So, WTF?!

I can only conclude that while we are in the thick of it, we cannot think or see objectively. This is why we need other’s to tell us what we don’t want to hear. Our perception is colored with a biased distortion. Whether it’s our physical appearance, our work, our ideas and opinions, or anything else that we’re engaged in, our ability to see clearly is inversely related to how deeply in the thick of it we are.

What we all need are people who aren’t afraid to sit us down and tell it to us straight. Hurt feelings or embarrassments are not good reasons to purposely and consciously distort reality.

I am thankful that someone had told me. The photos don’t lie. Every photo in the first half of 2009 had me as a whale. I rejoined a gym in May of that year and a year later I looked acceptable. Today, thanks to a grainless diet, I’ve never looked or been better.

Now, for your entertainment, an embarrassing picture of myself and two other pictures documenting my journey from Whale to Wow with a shout out to the epicenter of Internet vanity.

All we need someone to kick us in the ass from time to time.